快要散开的(?)情

有些事情说变就变。从何哪里开始,大家好像都不知道。可能有些事情本来就不应该开始。

很多东西说不见就不见。从哪里开始失去,大家仿佛想不起。或许有些东西本来就不属于我们的。

突然发现的事,突然发生的事情;每一个都是转折点。

其实,一开始发现别人的缺点和问题,却没有好好努力去接受时…我们曾经拥有的,已渐渐消失在语言和行动中。

每一句话都带着细细的刺,每一个举止都带着浓浓的疑问。到了这一步,我该如何更努力把这些快撕烂的布,细心地缝起来呢?

我真的不知道。我也很清楚,我们都不能再回头了。

平衡点,你在哪?

不能太骄傲,也不能太谦虚。

不能太宽容,也不该能太自私。

不能太大胆,也不能太胆小。

人生的矛盾,就是人生的美妙;到最后就是需要找到人生的平衡点。

每一天的降临,就是日复一日要累积的人生课。

我希望可以找到自己矛盾中的平衡点,因此能绽放我还存有的火花。

如果失去了平衡,那么 … 该如何在生存的道路中留下我的痕迹呢?

uninspired

I haven’t been able to write well recently. I haven’t had the inspiration to speak the words smoothly. I haven’t been feeling the moment of writing. Ask me how the weekends were, and I’d reply with a word: fantastic. Just how fantastic is it? It seems pretty hard to re-live the moments captured right in my head into words, because there simply isn’t a way unless I begin rambling and scrambling for words to replace the way I felt.

The power of words; they can mean everything, at the same time, give you nothing.

人情的困扰

人情最难换,但在最没办法的时候就是需要厚着脸皮去向别人请求。我们都是理智的人,知道什么该做,什么不该做。一句“拜托”就是你我都会牢牢记住的债。朋友之间其实并不难提起问题,但最大的疑惑就是朋友是否会为你而踏出更长的那一条路。既然是“朋友”那么为何还这么不明确呢?因为,朋友也有他们自己的标准和理由拒绝你的请求。对我来说,生活就是要体谅别人、就是要帮助别人、就是要在别人已经没有办法的时候,给一点点的能力去支持他。

只可惜,不是没一个人都有那颗宽大的心,愿意一心一意地去谅解别人的麻烦而在他人最无助的情况下给他那把可以辅助的双手。

Different state of mind

The difference between writing freely to express one’s opinion, compared to writing an opinion article for for a Journalism course definitely made me realize how different the state of mind is. Writing this now, frees my mind and eases me into writing quickly because it somehow makes me know that I won’t be judged or graded for what I have to present. On the other hand, knowing that my article is going to be published and read by many from people in school, is just so nerve-wrecking! Suddenly, having to “speak up” and sound like myself, just makes me sound so much more pretentious and superficial. I hope I can work on my tone and originality on the article I have to write. Being comfortable with the uncomfortable is my goal of the week. 

Reminder

Upset with my rashness

Upset with my decisions

Upset with my moments

Upset with my lack of attention

But being upset can’t solve what’s done;

                                                      So bear in mind your mistakes and do not fault 

                                                      again

                                                      or you will end up in this endless cycle

                                           of repeating these lines 

                                                      again

Just Wait

There’s no need to say, nor anything to whisper

Just wait till you have been told

By the person that was in action

Or the excitement of sharing

Will never be given

To the person that have kept mum

About all her adventures

I am not sure if any of you like it when your friend(s) would say, “hey, I heard that you did…”? Personally, I don’t. I get rather bothered with a friend telling me they have heard something about what I do from someone else, yet never wanting to say who said it, or who told them about it. I guess that’s the unavoidable inconvenience of having mutual friends. The person that went through things will never get a second chance of re-living the excitement of telling their own part of the story despite sharing it with Person A, only. The answer to how Person B will “know everything” that happened is clearly simple: after telling Person A, he/she will tell Person B, and then along the way a lot of other emotions, uncertain assumptions are added, and Person B believes Person A. After which, Person B will “clarify” with the first person, only to find out that a lot of things mentioned by Person A have been…uncompleted. How bothersome to only fill in the blanks! Actually, such occurrence is when you have that one nosy friend.

Well, don’t get me wrong here. There’s nothing wrong to share the things that happen in our lives to our friends, and absolutely nothing wrong to share information of your friend, to another (mutual) friend. In this context, everyone knows everyone, so where’s the problem? For me, it is the questioning and the probing to ensure that the information received from one person to another is accurate. It leaves me no chance to explain and tell my story that I have kept to share it with the other person in a different manner, and allowing myself a different way to re-live the days of happiness that I want to share. In fact, I would really appreciate it if my friend came up to me saying, “hey, tell me what you did…” even if he/she already “know it all”.